hen parents have remarried. But at that moment none of that mattered. All that mattered is that I wanted to get home to hold my Mom’s hand and to hopefully see him before he passed. I scrambled to get everything in place at work before I left. I was unsure how long I would be gone exactly. But on my drive home I got another call from my brother that he had just witnessed his passing. I pulled the car over and again just let myself cry. My heart was aching for my Mom, she loved him dearly, as did I. More than I think any of us have ever accepted. I have been blessed to not have much death in my life. Most significant had been my Grandpa Dan when I was 15 and it was devastating and I never wanted to experience it again. Unlike Shane who I have learned has experienced a lot of death in his family, I just have been sheltered from it. During the week that I was home it was nice to be with all my family. I miss them a lot. Even though I wish it was under different circumstances. Shane was able to fly out on a flight a few days later and stay with us the majority of the week. We both had some deep conversations about life and our future. I fell more in love with him, even though I didn’t even think it was possible. There is a lot to be said for someone who can give you a hug and make everything else not matter. Shane does this for me. He grounds me unlike anyone else in this world can. When I got back to St George a little over a week later, I was in “Catch Up” mode at work. I love my work. More now than I ever have. I was thrown back by the love and understanding I got when I returned. I don’t know why I was thrown back by this, this is always true with my job. But it was a nice reminder that I am loved as a person not just for the things I do for the company. There are many shifts going on at work. In my mind all AWESOME! We are shifting our image and will be rolling out a new website, we are reorganizing and it has been refreshing. We have a lot of things in the pot and they are finally starting to come to life. BUT even good shifts come with stress. I have always loved change. I thrive off it. I don’t know why, it is just a part of me. It always breaks my heart when I see people who are threatened by it and are resistant to change. I have had to learn (again) that we are all different and all react differently to situations. In the last few weeks I have been able to calm my mind to accept that not everyone is going to like me for me. I have also learned (again) who DOES love me for me. My boss made a comment to me yesterday that has completely calmed my soul over these changes. It was simply “You do not have to be perfect”. In that moment I believed it and all the stress of these shifts became exciting once again.
The other fun shift going on has been that I moved up to Cedar City over Memorial Day weekend. It was a bitter sweet move. At the same time that I was moving out, my friend Brylee was moving in because her husband (Zac) was being deployed to Iraq and she needed a place to stay. We have all been sad but proud of him for this courageous sacrifice. It’s all that I could think of the entire weekend and the next week. Zac has been a dear friend since I have moved to St. George. He has loved me and supported me through all the hills and valleys. When I moved here I believe he was only 15 and I took him on as a little brother and have watched him grow into this amazing man who I am so proud to call my friend. I could go on, but the tears are forming and I know he doesn’t want us crying, so I will not. I am just simply going to say, that I love you dearly Zac!
The move has been full of emotions. I have LOVED seeing Shane every single day. (except the one night a week he has an overnight run) He has also been my anchor for the shifts going on with work and it has been so wonderful to get home and tell him about my day and to be able to move forward hearing about his day too. His parents have started a new company that became official this week. This company has been a dream of his since he was 14 or 15. It has been so fun to hear the challenges and the progress they have been making in its creation. It has also been fun to have some insight with my knowledge of business to help in small ways.
I have been feeling nervous about the hour drive to and from work every day. Surprisingly (and to what I believe will be Shane’s relief) I have enjoyed it. It has given me a time to prepare for the day and to then wind my mind down when the day is finished. The only drawback has been the days I put 10 or 12 hour days into work, it has made it to be a very long day by the time I get home. Other than that, this move has been pretty darn cool. I thi nk Shane h as been more excited than me to decorate the house. The words he says are to make it “Homey”. It has been a bachelor pad for years now… so far we have
made a few minor changes and it has made a huge difference. The guest room is just starting to come together. We have a nice Queen bed ready for anyone that wants to come and visit! (My Mom gets first dibs, she is coming for the week on June 19th) 